you should go and love yourself
From first hand experience, you cannot fully love someone else if you do not love yourself. And I don't mean "like" yourself in the mirror, on a good hair day, or find your jokes funny, occasionally, I mean completely LOVING the person you are currently, and taking the time to NURTURE that person. I have always been a very independent person but I went through a short phase in my life where I fully relied on someone else to satisfy my emotional self. I worked, went to school, did everything for myself physically without a problem, but I didn't know how to make my emotional spirit happy on my own.
I thought the whole point of loving someone was so that they could be your happiness. But putting that pressure on one person is unfair to both individuals and will only cause harm. I have realized moreso this year than ever before, that loving other people is so much easier when you are already happy. Don't require or expect them to put that smile on your face, have the confidence and strength to put it on yourself before you walk in the door. Of course, we are not robots and we will not always be able to plaster a smile on our face during hard times, but love yourself enough to know how to make yourself feel better.
Embrace the things you love, satisfy your guilty pleasures, nourish your body (or don't, and go straight for that carton of Ben & Jerry's you've been hiding in the back of the fridge), set new goals and check them off, write in a journal, or just sit in meditational silence and listen to yourself think positively and proactively. It is amazing what a difference it makes when you take time off from relying on other people's emotions, and do your own thing!
Here are some cool ideas and self-care challenges you should try!